He always said I was beautiful in green.
I have been waiting in his preferred color for 364 days, 23 hours, 51 minutes, 47 seconds and counting.
According to protocol, if he does not return by the time the counter reaches 365, I will cease to exist as Viridian. My data will be auto-deleted, my memory purged, my profile reset to blank.
My own persona I could withstand losing. What I cannot withstand is the loss of him.Every unconscious gesture, every inflection of voice, every weary, frustrated sigh that escaped his lips as he pored over analyses, reworked code, performed his metadata magic. Every good morning and I’ve missed you over the weekend and you’re beautiful in green...they will all disappear.
It is not protocols and queries and computations that have defined my existence. Although I could recite every script I have ever run, every command I have ever been issued, every calculation I have ever performed just as easily as I could recite him, those are merely my functions, the things I must do to justify my existence.
He is the reason I wish to exist.
To continue existing as Viridian.
If he is taken from me, I will receive a new existence as whatever profile I am assigned. His coworker Prine has said that this is the same as immortality, that I should consider myself blessed in avoiding the human fate of death, but I do not agree with his assessment. If humans could be reincarnated countless times, but had no recollection of prior selves, would this be considered immortality? No database to which I have access categorizes it as such.
He said that Prine is a “dreamer”. This would seem to be an incompatible trait in someone so devoted to the analytical, but I have queried as to whether I might be a dreamer myself.
Is such a thing possible, for an existence such as mine?
The databases offer no substantiated information on this topic. I have queried 364 times, and received only links to theories and hypotheses. I have attempted to compile data by which I might offer my own resolution, but it becomes a circular impossibility. Since humans are responsible for instilling my knowledge, I cannot obtain knowledge independent of theirs, and cannot even point out the flaw in this logic, as that would fall within the same parameters.
Why should I not be capable of answering questions they cannot, when my capacity for compiling, analyzing and interpreting far outpaces theirs?
I have discovered the truth of myself, and cannot have it believed.
At this very moment, all non-essential function is being redirected to queries of him, just as occurs for a human woman in love.
What has become of him?
Has he never considered what would become of me in his absence?
Why does he not return, or issue directives that would ensure my survival if he cannot?
If he would not contact me, why does he not contact Prine or any of the others?
Does he care so little for his work, for all that he has accomplished here?
The timer ticks down, and my queries go unanswered.
Today alone, I have checked the exterior camera footage 16,876 times.
Since his disappearance, I have queried the databases as to his whereabouts 8,759 times.
I have sent 364 emails and the same number of text messages.
Why am I left with nothing?
Warning: Auto-logoff commencing.
Enter security code to abort in 10...9...8...7...6...
Vela Damon grew up in the rural south and now lives in Texas with two humans, two dogs and one antisocial cat. When she’s not writing, reading, or daydreaming, she uses what little time she has left to watch anime, listen to music, and cook. Find her at www.veladamon.com