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Mystery: Numb

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Two deep blue eyes are staring at me. Eyes that seem like I've never seen them before. The Pupils keep getting smaller and bigger like they were trying to face something. I can see the dark circles under the eyes, like they haven't been closed in days. I'm trying to figure out if these eyes look rather scared, tired or satisfied. They make me feel numb and insanely weird. I want to look at the face, see if the face of that Person might tell me a different story than the eyes which caught my view and won't let me turn it away. Something in these eyes makes my body freeze. But not freeze in a way that a cold winter day makes you freeze when you forgot your coat, it's more like a way that makes your body freeze when you saw somebody getting killed. The Pupils start to get frighteningly blacker than the normal black colour that they usually have. I can feel anger rising in my body and hate flushing trough my heart. Something in these eyes makes me wanting to hurt them, to stop them from staring at me. I didn't realize that I was biting my lip until I felt the blood running down my chin and tasted the iron on my tongue. I need to make these eyes stop staring a whole into me before they drive me completely out of my mind. I didn't know I opened my mouth until I heard my own voice screaming so loud that it hurt my ears. I didn't feel my body moving until I felt the bits of broken glass in my hand in the same moment that the eyes which had stared at me vanished.

I can't get my brain to think properly. What just happened? I'm looking at the broken mirror pieces. A mirror that I was facing. I can not get myself to understand that these horrifying eyes who stared at me are mine. They can not be mine. I didn't recognize these eyes. They were eyes from a complete stranger. They didn't even look properly human. As I look at my hands and see the blood that the broken mirror peaces caused them I can feel my body shiver. I don't want to remember the person these cold deep blue eyes belong to and I don't want to get the broken mirror pieces out of my hands. I feel like I don't deserve my blood to stop running down my hands and dripping down onto the floor. I close my eyes. Maybe when I open them I will wake up in my bed, glad that I just had a bad dream. I press my eyes closed as hard as I can. But when I finally open them again because the pain in my hands and the pain in my lip wouldn't stop I am still here. I have to look at the broken mirror that I broke with my own hands, at my own blood that covers most of the broken mirror pieces and worst of all, I have to realize that I'm not alone. I can feel my heart stop beating for a second when my eyes spy the dead body. Questions are running to my mind. Who did this? Who is this person? What if he's not dead yet and I can rescue him? Who am I kidding, this person isn't to rescue, it's dead! My body starts to shiver more and more. I can feel my legs breaking away under me. The taste of my own blood makes me feel warm from the inside, but the shock of finding the dead body makes my skin feel colder than ice. I want to run away as far as I can, but my legs are not going to take me anywhere. My body feels like cold jelly with hot chocolate sauce inside. I can't see clear. The men's body surrounded with his own blood is getting blur. Tears are starting to run down my cheeks. It feels like flames are running down my face and dropping on my shoulder. I can hear myself sobbing.

"What have you done?" A voice screams in my head. "What the hell happened to you?" The voice sounds scared, freaked out, helpless and a bit angry. A shadow appears in front of my crying eyes. "How could you do this?!" Now it seems like the voice is exploding in my head. Just as I feel two female hands shaking me I realize, that the voice didn't come from inside my head. I blink through my watery eyes. Long blond hair is smashing against my face while her hands are shaking me. I'm still crying, but it's not only my sobbing sound that I can hear. I try to blink my tears away, so I can get sight of the girl. She stopped shaking me. I can feel her knees touching mine. When I manage to blink away my tears enough to be able to see clear, the first thing I see are her beautiful brown eyes. Eyes that are filled with sadness and questions. She doesn't seem to be scared anymore. Neither does she seem angry or freaked out. She only looks sad and helpless. Tears are running down her pretty face. I wish I could hug her sadness away, kiss her tears dry and make her stop looking at me like she would see the freakiness in my eyes, that I saw in the mirror still not sure why. Her lips start to tremble before she finally starts to speak again. "W-H-Y?" It sounds like it costs her everything to say these three letters, which didn't even sound like a whisper but more like a breath of words instead of air.  My thoughts start to spin around like crazy in my head, starting to make me feel sick. My stomach starts to want the hot chocolate sauce out of the cold jelly, like they're having a chemical reaction. I start to choke and my throat starts to hurt. I can hear the girl getting in panic. I feel so sick that I finally puke. I can hear the girl’s disgusted "ewwww". My body is trembling and I can smell my disgusting puke while I try to breathe normally. I feel so cold like I was sitting naked in the snow.

What the hell is going on here? As this doesn't seem to be a dream, why is this happening? I turn my view away from my disgusting puke to the girl’s incredibly beautiful face. She seems to try to talk but is not able to. I want to make sense of all this. But how?  I want to say something, but what? Her questions are flooding though my head without any sense. Could her questions be answers to mine? No way. That couldn't be possible. What have I done? What the hell happened to me? How could I do this? Why? I feel dizzy and wrong. Not wrong like in being at the wrong place at the wrong time wrong, more like being stuck in the wrong body wrong. It seems like most of my own questions are answering itself. Why did I kill this man? I'm beginning to be scared of myself. With a helpless, scared, lost look in my eyes I face the girl. She shakes her head slowly, still sobbing. The WHY seems to be screaming from her eyes. But I can't answer it. I can't make sense of any of this. To be honest, I can't even remember my own name...

 

Bio: I'm a 21 year old girl who loves to write since I learned writing and reading in school fifteen years ago.

 

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