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I Never Eat Pizza

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Adam Carr and Phil Dunn, both physicists, sat at a table in the university cafeteria eating lunch. Adam enjoyed a hamburger while listening to Phil. “Adam, reputable physicists believe that there are many parallel worlds, worlds where there are other Adam Carrs.”

“What they believe and what they can prove are two different things. I think their imaginations are looking for something to dream about. Wishful thinking, that’s all.”

“Adam, you’re a scientist. As a scientist, can’t you even entertain the idea that there are parallel universes?”

“I am one scientist who deals with facts. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Well, I feel in my bones that there are parallel worlds. After all, why not?” Phil said and looked at his watch. “Time to go to class. We’ll talk some more. See you later…in another world,” he chuckled and left.

That night, Adam corrected exams until he got tired. “I’ll correct the rest in the morning,” he said and went to bed. In the morning, he went to his den to correct the exams. As he worked, the lights in his den went out and the room became shrouded in darkness. “Damn. I can’t see a thing. Where is my flashlight?” he mumbled, and, as he stumbled around the room, the lights went on. “Well, that’s…,” he said and froze. “My desk is on the other side of the room. That’s impossible. Everything is in a different place. The chairs. The lamps. The couch. This is impossible, but…what the hell is going on? Have I lost my mind? What’s happening to me?” he said, shaking.  I need a stiff drink to calm me down,” he said  and hurried to the kitchen where he kept a bottle of  whiskey in a cabinet. “What the...where’s the kitchen? This is the laundry room. Where’s the kitchen?” he said and hurried out of the laundry room into another room. “What’s the kitchen doing here? The dining room is supposed to be here. God, I am losing my mind. Nothing is where it’s suppose to be,” he said wiping his brow. “God, help me,” he pleaded looking up.  “ I have to get out of here,” he whispered and ran to his car, and drove to the university. After he parked, he walked slowly to the science building, mumbling as he walked. “I have to teach my physics class. How will I be able to concentrate on physics when I’m losing my mind,” he said and went to his classroom. “Nobody’s here,” he said sounding confused, went into the hall and saw a student running toward him.

“Dr. Carr. The class is waiting for you.”

“They’re waiting? Uh, where are they?”

“Where we always have class. In room 103.”

“We don’t have class in 109?”

“No,” she giggled. “That room is for the linguistics class.”

“Linguistics, of course, linguistics. “Okay, let’s go.”

After his class, he rushed to the cafeteria.” I have to tell Phil.” When he entered the cafeteria, he gasped. “I have lost my mind. It’s different. Everything is in different places.” As he looked around, he heard Phil call him. “Phil is at another table,” he mumbled and went to the table.

“Glad you’re here.  I ordered your favorite lunch just in case you were going to be late. Pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms. Bon appetite.”

“Pizza? I never eat pizza,” he thought staring at the pizza.

“Phil, did I ever eat hamburgers for lunch.”

“Hamburgers,” he chuckled. “You don’t like hamburgers.”

“Phil, what’s wrong with you?  I love hamburgers. I hate pizza. Do you hear me? I never eat pizza,” he growled,  jumped up and pounded the table with his fist: “I never eat pizza. Phil Dunn knows that. You’re not Phil. Who are you?” he yelled, looked around for a moment and then ran out of the cafeteria  and ran down a corridor. “They’re right. There are other worlds,” he said gasping and leaned against a wall. Where is my world? The world where  my desk is where it’s supposed to be. The world where I eat hamburgers. I have to find my world. Wherever I am, I don’t belong here. I have to find my world before I go mad,” he growled and took deep breaths. As he did, the lights went out for a few moments. When they came on, another  Adam Carr was sitting at a table in the cafeteria with another Phil Dunn. Adam enjoyed  his pizza while  he listened to Phil. “Adam, reputable physicists believe that there are many parallel worlds, worlds where there are other Adam Carrs.”

“Adam, you’re a scientist. As a scientist, can’t you even entertain the idea that there might be parallel universes?”

“I am one scientist who deals with facts. I’ll believe it when I see it. What they believe and what they can prove are two different things. I think their imaginations are looking for something to dream about. Wishful thinking, that’s all.”

“Well, I feel in my bones that there are parallel worlds. After all, why not?” Phil said and looked at his watch. “Time to go to class. We’ll talk some more. See you later…in another world,” he chuckled and left leaving Adam to finish his pizza.

The End

Bio

 

While teaching  communication skills and English at a community college, Mr. Greenblatt wrote short stories, and plays, one of which won a reading at Smith College. Since retiring in 2000, he has written short stories and novellas.

 

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