Today marked the second anniversary of her marriage. However, no one seems to be celebrating it. And how could she, or rather both of them, be happy because of this marriage since this wedding knot was not only tied without the consent of the bride and groom but also occurred incidentally to compensate for what had happened in the winter of last year, especially with the bride whose name was Zahra.
On that day, she woke up early, recited the Holy book, and dedicated the reward to the deceased and martyred, especially the martyred one whose name was Saad. He was killed last year by Zahra’s family. She called him martyred because she believed that whosoever dies in the name of love should be entitled as martyred.
On the very day of her anniversary, she was looking like a living statue, merely breathing and walking. She was in the shackles of her past, she endured constant taunts from everyone in the house for it, especially her mother-in-law. She spared no chance to taunt, who seized every opportunity to berate her. Zahra listened with her head down. Two years had passed since the incident but it left a lasting scar on the whole life of Zahra. This day starkly reminded everyone of the devastating consequences faced by the lovers. On this day innocent lives were lost, and lovers torn apart. So, this day sparked an outrage in her mother-in-law’s eyes. Everyone in the house became in a rage while recalling this day especially her husband whose name was Riaz khan. He was 45 years old. He was much older than Zahra. He was strict and used to beat Zahra every day. During the early days of their marriage, he regularly beat her, but now his behavior has changed. He now harbored ambivalent feelings towards her.
If the incident had not happened to Zahra, then she would not have suffered so much. Her life was divided into two halves: the day and the night. The days were spent doing house chores and enduring her mother-in-law's constant taunts while at night she had to work harder than the day. First, she had to gratify her husband’s sexual needs. The sexual intercourse was unbearably painful because she had to have intercourse with someone she neither imagined nor wanted. The rest of night, she spent over thinking of her hectic life and wretched injustice that had befallen her.
Her marriage was a forced one. She was married to the person she never wanted, with no way to escape it. This marriage was a punishment for the dishonor she had brought to her family in the whole village. No one in the village wanted to marry due to her past mistakes. She was considered a burden and dishonor to her family which is why she was married to a person twice her age. And now her life became increasingly intolerable. But she could not do anything because of helplessness. Life wasn't good for her, the only thing she could do was to hug the pillow every night and burst into tears. Throughout the night, she was going through her own battles without the help of anyone as her own family members abandoned her because of shame. No one from her family was allowed to meet her.
As an alienated girl and the one who needed the most care in her husband's family, but no one paid her any heed except her husband but that was only occasionally. Her husband had changed somehow, but she didn't know what happened to him. He loved and cared for, but his mother always instigated trouble, provoking him against her. She crashed upon their shores of serenity. Her presence was like a discordant rhyme in the beautiful song of husband and wife. By incentivizing her son, Riaz khan's mother created a situation of disruption and turmoil. In Pakistani society, mothers-in-law are often perceived as anti-feminist and provoking creatures who always want a fight between husband and wife and they are constantly in search of finding faults in their daughters-in-law to provoke conflicts and spoil their lives. So, after listening to his mother Riaz khan became cruel.
Zahra's past with Saad still haunted her, one day sitting on a bed she was thinking of the day which brought tragedy in her life. It was a cold winter night in December when this event took place. For a few, it was the culmination point of the love story of Zahra and Saad but for others, it was something that tarnished the reputation of both families of lovers and was a sheer violation of centuries-old traditions.
Zahra and Saad had already fallen in love even before they got admission in university. Both of them were from the same town in the rural part of Dera. Ismail. Khan, Pakistan. Since childhood, they have been attracted to each other. During their childhood, they used to meet each other while playing hide and seek at a relative’s house. At that time, they were stigmatizing. They attended their education together at primary level. To get more education, they had to separate due to a rule of the school that boys and girls must be separated after getting primary-level education. They were eagerly awaiting their brief meetings, but they met for only a few minutes after three years apart. Many years passed without seeing each other, but their impatient waiting had ended now because they were enrolling in the same university. They thought studying together in the same university would provide them an opportunity to spend most of their time together. Although, things did not work as they had expected them to work. At first, their desire to get admission in the same subject, so that they were very close to each other, could not be fulfilled because Saad did not score well in the entry test that's why he couldn't opt for sociology as his major subject, however, Zahra did fairly well in that very test. Disheartened, Saad chose anthropology as his major. By no means, this made them lose hope of being together. They Could still meet and spend hours with each other after classes. They enjoyed each other's company at the cafeteria, and in the library, and on weekends they often went to have lunch together. Their life was full of happiness; they could do whatever they wanted.
And out of nowhere, Coronavirus hit the world that later ended up becoming a pandemic. To avoid the spread of this deadly, contagious virus, everything had to be closed, and lockdowns were imposed everywhere. So, their university was not exempted from this rule, therefore, it had to be closed immediately. Like all other students, Zahra and Saad packed their luggage and left for home. At that time, everyone was kept under house to prevent the spread of coronavirus. No one was certain for how long this infectious virus would persist or how long they would be apart. It had been more than a year since both could not meet with each other in person. Not because of a precautionary measure to avoid contraction of the virus but because of strict family rules and societal norms. They both have had a phone to talk but that talking made the beings away worse.
As with the passage of time, it became harder for them to live without seeing each other. At the same time, their instinct to have intimate contact grew stronger, not because they were used to having intimate relationships, but this time their primordial instinct and longing for each other compelled them to do something that could remove the barriers constructed by society as well as family. It was decided via mobile phone that Saad would meet Zahra at her home at midnight when the other family members would be sleeping.
Zahra, who had not been feeling well since she came home. Her free will was nowhere to be seen, let alone exercised it. The conservative attitudes of family members made her annoyed, because in the said culture, mostly girls were not allowed to live their lives independently. The same was true for Zahra; she had been confined to her house. Due to suffocation in the house, she further isolated herself to her room.
As soon as she received a message from her beloved that at midnight, he would be with her in her room, her face which had become pale suddenly reflected a sense of happiness. However, sadness prevailed in her mind due to the fear of being caught. They saw things simply as they were unable to comprehend where they were getting into, how to deal with the circumstances, or how to get out of it if the difficult situation arose. Neither of them thought about who would suffer the most if they were caught red-handed.
It was a windy night at 9 PM, while Saad was packing a special gift that he had bought for her gorgeous beloved, his sister Fatimah entered his room. By looking at her brother's dress she was astonished since it had been long seeing Saad in such a dashing personality. Fatimah at first pretended as if she had not seen anything unexpected, however, she could not help asking her brother, in a subtle way, where he was going on this windy and rainy night. His appearance and rejuvenation implicitly conveyed to his sister that her young brother intended to meet someone special. Fatimah, already aware of Saad's love story, wanted to confirm what she thought after casting a glance at his brother, was he planning to see Zahra? Reluctantly, Saad nodded. Fatimah at first was shocked because of the strict norms of the society and forewarned him of the potential circumstances. However, Saad was in the desperation of meeting and this thing pushed him to do the unthinkable. As his mind was at war with his heart to meet Zahra at night in such a conservative society. And also, since the beginning of time, there has been an unbearable war between mind and heart; they are always poles apart from each other. But in the meantime, of love, the heart always overcomes the mind and everyone chooses the heart over the mind. The same is the case with Saad whose mind warned him to not meet Zahra because of the fear of being caught, but his heart, eager to see her, won out.
Meanwhile, Zahra, who had already sent away her only younger brother Waqas to their aunt's house for the night, was immersed not only in making her look more attractive but also in putting everything in her room in order.
On the night of their meeting, both talked to each other on the phone, and Saad informed Zahra that he was at her home's main gate. It was 11 p.m., and everyone at Zahra's home was in their room. Usually, no one would go to any family member’s room after 10 p.m. except in case of emergency. Zahra secretly managed to bring Saad into her room. When they entered the room, the first thing they did was hug each other, something that had never happened before in their five-year relationship. But tonight was not a usual night. Certainly, they themselves made it more surprising by sharing the first kiss of their lives. For them, time and space lost their meaning, and the well-garnished little room was no less than a paradise. Immersed in boundless love and unaware of the world outside their closed door, they relished each passing moment. However, adjacent to their room was that of her mother’s. Mother, as if waking from a nightmare, her mother suddenly woke up.
Under the grey, cloudy sky, they hugged one last time before parting from each other. Suddenly, Zahra’s mother heard whispers from her room, she secretly entered, the light was switched on, and they were caught red-handed by Zahra's mother. This moment was the beginning of the unfolding of a tragedy that would have to endure by the purest of the soul, Zahra. The dishonor and the disrespect brought by the actions of Zahra and Saad upon their families could only be compensated with the marriage of Zahra to an old stranger, Riaz khan. And how it could be called a happy union, it was merely a compensation, an everlasting scar from that winter night in December, and a fulfilment of tradition.
Today is the second anniversary of Zahra's marriage.