It has been ten years since Rohan left his country. He left his mother and sister just to get a new life in a place he had no idea about. Since then, Rohan decided to cut everything off from his family. He chose to leave his past in England and moved away to Japan to go back to the drawing board, sacrificing everything that matters to him in order to heal the broken pieces within him.
“Hi Setsuko, I would like to order—”
“A matcha latte, right?” Rohan smiled and nodded.
Since he came to Nara, Rohan always came to Mozart Café to enjoy his evening with a glass of matcha latte. The owner, Mr. Fukuzawa, always welcomed him even though he just ordered a single item. Sometimes, they sat together to enjoy the sunset in silence. It was Rohan’s favourite thing about this café, that he could feel alive.
“Setsuko, where is Mr. Fukuzawa? Yesterday I came here, he was absent as well.”
“He went to Tokyo to visit his daughter.” Setsuko walked towards him and brought a matcha latte with a dango as a compliment. “Why? Do you miss him? Hahaha.”
“Why would I miss him? He is a boring grandpa.” A sudden hit right to Rohan’s head made him shocked. “You think that I am boring, Mr. Matcha?” Setsuko laughed so hard while he saw Rohan got dumbfounded seeing Mr. Fukuzawa right behind him.
“Can you please do it slowly, Mr. Fukuzawa? That hurt.” Rohan rubbed his head and was about to get hit again by Mr. Fukuzawa. “Alright, I am sorry. Okay?”
“Setsuko, give me ginger tea, please.” Setsuko nodded and left them.
The wind blew towards their face with the scent of the spring breeze. The birds were chirping with their melody, and the Japanese lullaby started to fulfil the quietude in between. As Rohan closed his eyes to feel it, the cherry blossoms started to bloom beautifully.
“How many coasters have you sold today?” Asked Mr. Fukuzawa after his first sip of the ginger tea.
“Four.” Rohan smiled. “Did you know that the cherry blossoms typically last about one to two weeks?”
“I am more Japanese than you, Rohan.”
“Right.” Rohan giggled and ate his dango. “Is Tokyo better than Nara?”
“No, Nara much better.”
“You can say that again. Because Tokyo does not have me.” Mr. Fukuzawa stared at him with his eyes judging from the top to bottom of Rohan’s appearance. Then, they laughed together.
“What kind of story do you want to bring up here?”
“Am I too obvious? Hahahaha.” Rohan went back to his stillness while staring at the cherry blossoms. Mr. Fukuzawa gave him another dango and let him enjoy his moment.
Mr. Fukuzawa firstly met Rohan while he was resting at Mozart Café with a glass of matcha latte. He carried a bunch of coasters that he made, which were full of colours with an abstract pattern. Rohan did not talk too much while Mr. Fukuzawa approached to talk to him. He only talked a lot when he was promoted and asked for permission to leave his coasters at Mozart Café hoping that someone would buy it. Even though he was not talkative, he smiled a lot and had a good sense of humour. It was very uncommon for western people to easily smile without reasons, and that was the thing that Mr. Fukuzawa noticed about him.
As time passed by, Rohan and Mr. Fukuzawa became friends. They both loved to tease each other, and having a father-son moment while it came at a time. As Rohan never met his father since he was born, the role of Mr. Fukuzawa really helped to cure his inner child of wanting a father.
“Take your time, I am all ears.”
Rohan took a deep breath and caught some cherry blossom petals that flew towards him. “Is it okay to miss something that I have buried?” Rohan started to pick his nails. It was his second nature when he felt ill at ease.
“Well, it is a dime a dozen. People like to recall everything when they miss something, and it is normal.” Mr. Fukuzawa glanced at him. “Do you miss something?”
“Not something actually, but someone. Someone who is always there for me through thick and thin. I thought I would be fine since I got something out of my system, but…”
“Son, you cannot make an omelette without breaking some eggs. You cut it first in order to start your new life here.” Mr. Fukuzawa stopped while he saw Rohan faking his smile. “You know which way the wind is blowing, and you take your own risk.” He continued.
“No, I did not. It just happened.” Mr. Fukuzawa stared at him in disbelief.
“Rohan, at least you admitted it.” Rohan was stunned when he noticed Mr. Fukuzawa’s face. “It is never too late to fix it. If you cannot fly to London, call them instead. If you cannot call them, email them. Oh, if you still cannot email them, just send them a postcard. There are so many ways, it depends on you.” He added.
“You got me wrong, Mr. Fukuzawa.”
Mr Fukuzawa looked at him deeply “May I know why you cut your boundaries with them?” He could see a sudden change of Rohan’s expressions. The calmest ocean now finally met the storm after ten years not showing up. “Of course, by your concern.” Mr. Fukuzawa said.
“My broken family? Why do you want to know?” Rohan smirked. “My life was a mess, you will get traumatized.”
“Bring it up here then.” Rohan stared at Mr. Fukuzawa’s eyes. He could tell that Mr. Fukuzawa was really serious about it. A swelling storm that raged between him just slipped away out of the blue and made the ocean back to its tranquility.
“My mother was such a caring person. She likes to cuddle with my sister and me. She was not rich, yet she always lived on an easy street. My mother would always be there when I asked for help, but she was also the reason I needed help.” Rohan smiled.
“What happened?” Asked Mr. Fukuzawa carefully.
“She met with this guy at the bar she worked in. She became closer and it dragged her to the darkness. My mother was not the mother I used to know. She became a drug addict, alcoholic, and a sex worker. My sister took care of me when she was not around. Because of that, she started working odd jobs, and my mother stole all the money she had to get some fun with those guys.” Rohan stopped a while as he could not hold his tears anymore.
“Since then, my mother did not come home any longer. She left me and my sister. But here is the thing…” Rohan looked at Mr. Fukuzawa with his swollen eyes. “She came back to us when that guy dumped her. She begged for forgiveness and we welcomed her again. And the tragic part? She did it again and again and again until she gave my sister to that bugger. And guess what? I was next.”
Mr. Fukuzawa stifled as he could not say any words. He could not imagine how painful and hurtful his life was back then. “How old were you?” He asked. “I was fourteen and my sister was eighteen.” Rohan smiled after he could control his tears.
“Do not give me that look. It makes me sick knowing that you are actually not alright.”
“You asked it first, Mr. Fukuzawa.” He chuckled and took a deep breath. “When I was struggling with my life, I met this Japanese old man, Mr. Yoshida. I was lost at that time and I thought to just end my life. He walked towards me, and gave me a glass of matcha latte. We sat at the bench in silence for a while until he spoke to me that a bird in the hand is worth in the bush. He then told me to go to his small business in the city centre, and I found him as a coaster maker. Since then, I helped him run his business until he became my godfather. I could not remember what happiness felt like, until he showed me effortlessly.”
“So, is he the one who taught you to make a coaster?”
“Correct. And he was also the one who brought me to Japan. That is why I can legally live here. He helped me a lot at my lowest and hardest time both in England and Japan. He is always there for me.” His voice started to break. “And, it hurts when I start to miss him again.”
“So, someone you miss was not your sister nor your mother? But Mr. Yoshida?”
“Yes, that is why I told you I was wrong. I have buried all the memories about him, but it still gives me lonesome whenever the longing remains in me.”
“Which city is he living in? I will accompany you to meet him.” Rohan laughed and got Mr. Fukuzawa baffled. “He is living far away, even earth could not reach him anymore.”
Mr. Fukuzawa was too stunned to speak. He waited a while to respect Rohan’s feelings. “I am sorry for your loss, Ro.”
“I was living in Osaka with him, and when he was gone, Osaka was no longer my home.” He said gently. “That is why I am moving here. I do not want to live in a place that tortures my soul.”
“You know, it is okay to miss someone. You do not have to bury or forget about them. I also miss my late wife, yet, she will always live within me. It hurts, but it's worse when I am denying what I feel and it becomes more torturous.” Mr. Fukuzawa smiled. “Maybe you have to accept what you feel, and let him stay with you.”
The purple sky witnessed their conversations with all kinds of emotions. It was Rohan's first time to show his vulnerable side to Mr. Fukuzawa. The weight of his burden was getting loose, the pain he felt slowly faded away, and the life that was full of misery started to change well-turned.
“Mr. Fukuzawa…” Rohan stopped and looked at Mr. Fukuzawa’s eyes. “Thank you for listening to my story.”
Mr. Fukuzawa smiled and nodded at him. “Well, every cloud has a silver lining in the end, Ro. You can share anything with me, do not keep it by yourself. You may get overwhelmed.” Mr. Fukuzawa said.
“I will. Thank you.” Rohan took a sipped of his matcha latte. “I think I have found my new home.” He grinned. “Mozart Café, Nara, and you are my home now.”
“And I will tell you again that you will always be welcome here.”
“How about me?” Setsuko came with a disappointed face.
“Hahahaha, yes. You count too, Setsuko.” They both laughed at Setsuko who was in pouty face.
To find or to be found, there will always be a snowball effect. It is like the seasons that created memories to be remembered until they are finally replaced with other episodes. Rohan was too long to live in the season in which gave him sorrow. He hedged the signs that came since he was afraid to step out to the new precious chapter. The spring taught him that every blossom will spark another joy and the magical things will bring him a new blaze.