God: “Jonathan Earl Benson!”
Benson: “Who said that? Who’s there? I don’t see anyone.”
God: “Mr. Benson, it is I, the Almighty.”
Benson: “Oh, my god!”
God: “That is correct.”
Benson: “But, I can’t see you. Where are you?”
God: “I am all about, Mr. Benson. Do not look up.”
Benson: “Why can’t I see you? Where are you?”
God: “You looked up, Mr. Benson. I told you there was no need for that.”
Benson: “Sorry about that, Sir; couldn’t help myself.”
God: “I make it a point to take a little time to talk with each and every living person on the face of the planet.”
Benson: “Hey, wait a minute. I’m 73 years old. How come you haven’t stopped by for a chat before now? That’s a long time.”
God: “Do you know how many human beings there are?”
Benson: “Oh, that’s right. I guess you have a point.”
God: “I have a point?”
Benson: “I mean, now I understand. Didn’t mean any disrespect, Sir.” 1
God: “Mr. Benson, this is a good time to . . .”
Benson: “Excuse me, Sir, but couldn’t you make yourself visible? It would be a lot easier to speak with you, I mean, eye to eye. You know. And I’d really like to see what you look like. And I’d like to shake your hand, if I could do that. That would be a real honor, Sir.”
God: “I am not in human form, Mr. Benson. I am here, but your eyes are unable to discern me.”
Benson: “Oh, I see. Well, actually, I don’t see. But I guess that’s fine. So, anyway, now that I’m talking to you . . .”
God: “Mr. Benson, you can talk to me any time you wish.”
Benson: “Oh, yes, that’s right.”
God: “Now is a good time, Mr. Benson, at your age, to reflect on your past days and contemplate your future. You have many more days behind you than days ahead.”
Benson: “I’m painfully aware of that, Sir. Time passes so quickly.”
God: “For many, it does indeed. So, is your life in order? Have you come to terms with what you’ve made of your life? Have you decided how you wish to live out your remaining days?”
Benson: “Well, if I may, Sir, that brings up a question I’d like to ask you: how come the world is so unfair? My son was born with cerebral palsy. He has struggled his entire life. And it has been a terrible strain on the whole family. Why were we burdened with this hardship? Some kids are born perfect. Mine was born with a terrible handicap. That’s not fair. How come you allow that to happen?”
God: “What is fair, Mr. Benson? And moreover, who are you to tell me what’s fair and what is not? Would you prefer everyone to be identical, with absolutely identical capabilities and personalities? Would you prefer everyone to eat the same, see the same, live the same, to be the same? Like bacteria in a Petri dish? Is that your vision of fairness?”
Benson: “Well, no, but why is Charles so burdened, while other kids are not? Some kids have real special talents, and they go on to live such happy and successful lives.”
God: “Are you so arrogant, Mr. Benson, that you think you can comprehend all aspects of the universe and the human condition and prescribe a ‘better’ way? Is that not stunningly presumptuous of you?”
Benson: “Well, I guess maybe.”
God: “Maybe?”
Benson: “Okay, you’re right.”
God: “Thank you. And besides, Mr. Benson, hasn't Charles been a blessing for your family? If you sincerely reflect on the joy he has provided, has he not been a source of great reward? Yes, hardships, but such great joy!”
Benson: “Well, yes, of course you’re right. We have gone through a lot, but he has given us so much love. That is truly a blessing.”
God: “You might wish to consider pondering the question of whether he has been a burden or indeed, a true gift. You have given him much, but he has given you much as well.”
Benson: “He is a very special person, and I am blessed to be his father. But, God, now that you’re here, . . .”
God: “Mr. Benson, I’m always here.”
Benson: “So, anyway, I’ve always wondered: Seems to me, you sat around for I don’t know how many trillion years, and then decided to create the universe. I don’t get it.”
God: “I don’t sit around.”
Benson: “Whatever. But all of a sudden, you come up with the idea of making the universe? I don’t understand. Why bother? What’s the purpose of the universe? What’s the purpose of humans and animals, living and dying?”
God: “Of course you don’t understand, Mr. Benson. But I didn’t just let all sorts of time pass before creating the universe. Let me remind you, when I created the universe, I also created time. Time didn’t exist before then.”
Benson: “So you create a universe where there’s pain, despair, anguish, hate, suffering, misery, unfairness, and death. What sort of a universe is that? And what does that say about you?”
God: “You wouldn’t understand.”
Benson: “Try me.”
God: “Believe me, you wouldn’t understand.”
Benson: “Well, that’s rather judgmental, don’t you think?”
God: “I beg your pardon?”
Benson: “If you don’t think I can understand something, that’s judgmental.”
God: “Being judgmental is what I do, Mr. Benson. It’s my job description. Who do you think makes all the end-of-life heaven/hell decisions? Do you think I flip a coin?”
Benson: “Oh, that’s right.” God: “Yes, that’s right.” Benson: “But here’s something else I’ve always wondered about, Sir. You’re God, and you’re supposed to have almighty powers . . .”
God: “Supposed to have?”
Benson: “So your power is unlimited. Fine. But does that mean you control everything? Is everything predestined? Predetermined? Are we all players in a story you’ve already written for us? Long ago? Are we all simply imagining we control our future while, in reality, we’re merely actors following your script?”
God: “As the Almighty, I have the power to write a script and set the rules for the universe to follow, precisely as I prescribe. But in creating the universe, I relinquished that power and gave it to every living thing. So now, it’s out of my hands. It’s up to you. And besides, it makes for a much more interesting existence. What fun would there be for me, or anyone, to see nothing but outcomes I had prescribed?”
Benson: “That raises another question, Sir, if I may. What about prayer? Can prayers really change outcomes? I’ve prayed I don’t know how many times about Charles, but my prayers never seem to be answered. What good are prayers anyway?”
God: “Prayers cannot alter the behavior of Nature. Nature’s laws are in full force. If a man jumps out of an airplane without a parachute and prays he’ll land safely, he will be woefully disappointed. If a football team prays to win, but does not play as well as the other team, it will lose. Prayers cannot alter the outcomes determined by the laws of Nature.”
Benson: “So, what good are prayers?”
God: “The value of prayers isn’t to make things go your way. That’s a silly notion. And a very selfish notion. If two individuals pray for opposite results, one prayer will always be unfulfilled. The value of prayer is to set focus, to build courage and resolve, to strengthen, to engage, and to accept outcomes. Do you think I’m scurrying about judging the legitimacy of every prayer uttered? Deciding whether or not to grant every prayer that is put forth every moment of every day? Then, altering the natural flow of things to achieve the prayed-for objective? That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.”
Benson: “And there’s another thing I’ve been wondering about, Sir, for a long time, and that’s Judgment Day. I’ve always been told that there will come a time when I’ll stand before you and plead my case to convince you I should go to heaven. But that sounds crazy to me. First of all, if you’re almighty, don’t you already know everything about me? Aren’t you already armed with all the information you need to make a decision? Isn’t it futile to try to convince you I’m worthy, if indeed I’m not? Isn’t this whole Judgment Day narrative a cruel hoax?”
God: “Well, actually, yes, it is. But that’s what early religious leaders determined would encourage good behavior. And it did. It has created an incentive for millions upon millions of people throughout the world and throughout time to live good, honorable, righteous lives.”
Benson: “There’s something else, too, Sir, if I may. There are lots of religions in the world, and many state that competing religions are illegitimate. If each claims it is the truth and the light, but preaches different principles, how am I supposed to figure out which really is the proper way? And if I choose badly, what does that mean? Some religions state I’ll go straight to hell. So, how do I choose?”
God: “Ah, such puzzles and conundrums are among the many challenges of life. It’s a hurdle you must cross . . . without any special help. You must find your own way.”
Benson: “So, you’re not going to answer my question.”
God: “That is correct.”
Benson: “And that reminds me of something else. When humans die, their souls are said to go to heaven or hell. What about other animals? Do they have souls? Do their souls go to heaven or hell? Do you decide which it is for them, too? And what is the soul anyway? When does someone get one? Where is a person’s soul? Are there good souls and bad souls? Is the soul immortal? How does it get to heaven or hell? Can a soul see? Can it hear? Can it touch or feel? Does it need nourishment? Does it have a three-dimensional form? Does it have mass? And just where is heaven and hell anyway? I’ve got a million more questions like that.”
God: “I decided early on that I won’t reveal the answers to questions such as these. There needs to be mystery in life, and these are the kinds of questions that are best left unanswered. For now. They will all be revealed, as time passes on.”
Benson: “That’s not being very friendly.”
God: “Mr. Benson, I am not a friend. I am God.”
Benson: “Well, then, what can you tell me that will benefit me? Is there any information you can give me that will make my life easier?”
God: “I mentioned before there is no predestination, but there are a few things I do have knowledge about regarding the future. Would you like to know the date you’ll die?”
Benson: “No, I don’t think so. Actually, I think it would be terrifying as the days ticked off toward that eventuality. I don’t want to know.”
God: “Want to know the year?”
Benson: “No. Surprise me. That’s the way I want it. Just surprise me.”
God: “Not even a hint as to when that day will arrive?”
Benson: “No, absolutely not, thank you.”
God: “Well then, . . . SURPRISE!”