I lay in bed at night, not knowing what to do.
Thinking overtime,
Undecided,
Head is a stew.
This pattern of thinking,
Lasted 4 scores and more,
Will it ever end,
It has too, I'm sure.
Sleepless nights,
Feeling on edge,
Body is restless,
Could actually step off a ledge.
Waking hours are no better,
Feeling like shit all day,
Down beaten and trodden,
I'm lost for words, don't know what to say.
Will this be my legacy,
Despairing at life,
Clawing at my face,
Full of strife.
Tormented,
And Tired,
Moody,
And wired.
Nowhere to turn,
Look up, look down,
Head is a shed,
Feel like a clown
Therapy has been tried,
Ayahausca too,
Temporarily got rid of the demons,
Loads more surfacing, just for you.
Work is so easy,
I do nothing all day,
Watch the screens on my phone,
No longer feeling Ok.
Here we again,
Wide awake at night,
Battle in my head and dreams,
It's certainly a violent fight.
Anger at me,
Anger at you,
Who to blame for this life.
Looking in the mirror, I'm staring back at you.
It can't be me,
I've done nothing wrong,
That's right you fool,
You've been singing the wrong song.
Changes in my head,
The story is not right,
Tweak the narrative at various ages,
You may just win this fight.
Another day,
A new insight,
Writing has helped me turn a corner,
You know, I'm actually alright.
Bio: A reflection of mental illness. Those who do it get wrong about themselves.