" If you could change one thing about the past, " Doctor Millburn asked, " what would it be? It's a serious question, Mister Shriver. "
" It's Jadey, " I said. " My dad was Mister Shriver. I'm not him. "
Millburn was checking my eyes with a Y shaped optical identifier. The light was too bright and I moved my head away from it. He grabbed my jaw with a strong grip and made me stay still until he'd finished. It took me right back to my childhood.
He was an older doctor and always serious about his job.
" I know who your father was, " he said. " He brought you to me when you were just a pup. How old are you now? "
" I'm thirty-one today. "
He was checking the stats on the identifier and was pleased, " Well, you are who you say you are. Now, back to my question. If you could change one thing about the past, what would it be? "
I wanted to tell him I'd change doctors and all the times he checked my eyes, ears, nose, and throat with all his jagged metal tools and scrapers and hope to goodness I never have to live through that pain and terror and deal with a father who said things to me, like, " Stop cryin', boy! You don't know what's good for ya! If ya mother was alive and saw ya cryin' like that, she'd kill herself outta shame! "
She did anyway. I was fourteen at the time.
I thought of something else, though, and took the question seriously, " I'd go back and see Bobby Ack. "
Millburn was surprised and took a moment to compose himself, " Why would you go and see him? You know what he did. "
" I know, but I'd change what he did. "
" That boy was always going to do what he did. Think of something else. "
" I can't. If I change what he did my mother would be alive and my father wouldn't have been left a grieving drunk. "
Millburn took a deep breath and put his hands behind his back and looked out the window. He rocked on his heels and was thinking, then said reflectively, " My daughter Anastasia suffered that day. All you kids did. She's your age and still dysfunctional. She was in love with him. She needs constant care. I'm surprised you're as normal as you are, but you weren't there that day. No! You had a sore throat, if I remember correctly. You came in here with your father. "
I wanted to yell at the old bastard, And you used a jagged metal- whatever the fuck it was - and tore into my throat!
But then he said, " Your mother was there. Sweet woman, she was. "
We lived in a farming community in a town called Eden. Mostly the farms consisted of water, fruits, vegetables, and especially soy. The soy farms were considered essential produce by the government, because they produced protein and milk.
The population was only ten thousand.
My father worked at a soy farm as an engineer. My mother was a school teacher. I wasn't allowed in her classes, because I didn't need to be, and the education board thought I'd be a target for bullies. I never was, actually, even more so after Bobby Ack went crazy.
And Millburn was right -I wasn't there that day.
It was a Monday, June 6th, 2088.
Bobby Ack shot up the school with his grandfather's SMEG rifle. He killed forty-eight students, six teachers, and was finally cornered by out of town forces and shot himself. He also killed his family.
My mother was in the room when he died and I later overheard her cry to my father, " That boy never stood a chance. I knew he had problems! We should have encouraged our boy to be his friend, Dan. I failed! "
She was never the same after that and two months later she decided to die. She ran away from us, we couldn't find her, and she died in a hotel room in the city. She was alone.
My father started drinking and would kick open doors and roar, " I SHOULD HAVE FOUND HER! ME! I LOVED HER THE MOST, BOY! I LOVED HER MORE THAN YOU! "
I remembered Bobby Ack. He was a skinny kid, my height, bad clothes, and he always told bad jokes, jokes his father told him. He told me one. He said to me, trying to make friends, " Hey, Jadey... You know what a girl's pussy is like, right? D'ya know what the definition of disgustin' is? It's puttin' twelve oysters up a girl's pussy and suckin' out thirteen. "
Man, he laughed at his own joke so much, but we just thought he was stupid.
Most kids wouldn't even say, " Fuck off, spacefarmer! " because his parents didn't even work the farms. Bobby wasn't working class enough for that.
His parents were scroungers. They went through people's junk and sold the good bits.
Bobby woke up that Monday and he killed his family first. His parents and two younger sisters. He used a knife.
One of his sisters - Kasey Leigh - two years younger than me, only twelve, she had a bad crush on me, though. I never liked her, but I think of her through the eyes of my fourteen year old self, and I'm so sorry. She was a pretty girl and so very very smart. She could have had such a beautiful life.
After Bobby did that, he went to his grandparent's home and he acted nice, got the SMEG, and killed them.
Then, he went to school with it.
Doctor Millburn said, " Mister Shriver, do you know about the Pegasus Intervention? "
" Yes, I do, " I said. " In times of need a volunteer is selected to go back in time. It has changed a lot of lives and societies. Why? "
" You fit the program. You have no illnesses, a photographic memory, an above average emotional and intelligence quotient, and a willingness to help humanity. If I could get you in the program, would you take it? You have no children and you're unmarried. I'll be honest... I'm happy with your response. You could save my daughter. I know it's selfish. "
He turned to look at me, then admitted, " I've been back twice, now. I can't go back again. I've been your doctor for over one hundred and twenty years. Each time that boy shoots my daughter in the head. "
I wanted to strangle him.
" The world is not what you think it is, " he continued. " I can help you save your mother, if that's enough incentive. You can also save my daughter from her own body. But once you go back, you stay gone until this point in time, if you fail, which I don't think you will. "
It took a while to comprehend, once I left his office, but over the next few weeks I saw the sense in it. I took his referral and applied and was accepted into the Pegasus Intervention program.
I went back in time on May 24th, 2087, but awoke on June 6th, 2088, at 9:13am.
I was fourteen.
My mother kissed me awake, saying, " Up ya get, baby. I love you. Your dad's gone to work, but he left a list of things you have to do after school. Bobby's in the kitchen having breakfast. I tell you what, that kid is so smart. I'm glad you made friends with him. "
I went to the kitchen and Bobby Ack looked better than he ever did.
" Hey, my guy! " he said. " I've got a surprise for you. I'll show you on the way to school. "
It felt like a fever dream, but no deja vu. This was real.
On the way to school, Bobby said, " You're being weird today. We have a test. Did you study? My mother says thanks, by the way. She got the job. And my dad's never around, as always. Too busy for us on the Mars outer banks. At least he puts us through school, right? I have to thank him for that. I know it's hard work being away from us. I showed you the last letter he wrote to me. Look at this crap. "
He reached into his bag and my memories were jumbled and I was expecting a gun, but he gave me a handwritten note.
" It's from my little sister. She loves you, bro'. I don't care. We should go to the movies. Doctor Millburn's daughter asked me on a date and I said yes and I don't want to be alone with her. Will you take my sister on a date with us? "
I threw my arms around him and stifled a cry.
My mother was beautiful and woke me with kisses and swaddled me, even when I grew into a man.
My father was great and gave me something to do with myself. Our world was beautiful. And somewhere in the mix I'd saved our world. The intervention worked.
Bobby Ack went on to be an engineer on deep space cargo freighters. I married his sister. Millburn's daughter married Bobby and they had two girls. We all still speak once a week. I insist.
I couldn't wait to see Doctor Millburn on my thirty-first birthday, because I knew deep down on that day he'd be the only one to remember. He hasn't died yet and he never ages.
Today is that day.
Bio:
L Christopher Hennessy lives in Coffs Harbour NSW, Australia, He is the author of poetry, short stories, and novels, and has been published since the 1990s. His writing covers many genres.